The Essence of Suffering

Why do we suffer? Who causes us pain? Is there a reason why we have to hurt each other? All pain is not human inflicted, though a lot is...we created whips and chains, prisons and murder. But there is pain and suffering created by nature. And is nature directed by God. So why does God cause us pain? I've been reading C.S. Lewis and he has a lot to say about pain and suffering. Man is not the centre of the universe, he is not the director of his fate. God does not live to have us love him, he strives to make us lovable. To whom? To Him? We are not created to be anything but loved by Him.

Hmmm...big concepts and almost impossible things to wrap one's head around. Why do we have to suffer? Does it make us better humans? Why do we have earthquakes and tornados and wars? Why are things destroyed? Is it natural evolution? Hmm...way too big of thoughts for a Tuesday morning....

Reading Charming Billy

What an incredible book - I couldn't put it down. Written by Alice McDermott, it chronicles the life and times of one Billy Lynch, a chronic alcoholic in Irish society in New York. It's all about the power of family and immigration to America and what we hide from family and friends.

He loses a girl, or thinks he does and spends his whole life wondering if things would have been different if that path had come to fruition. I so related to this story - the story of what could have been, or what if. I've spent a lot of time thinking about the past and how things would have changed had I taken a different road. Like not giving up my music for 20 some odd years or never leaving Ontario, or never chasing a dream and losing it...

The power of family is also very important in this book. And the sense that community backs its own. I love that sense of community, that sense that we protect those we love because they're part of our families. Whether it be good or bad, it's still family. I feel the same way about my musical community. We challenge each other but at the same time, support and care for each other because it's what we do. No one is greater than the sum of the parts.

Great book - highly recommended...

Nuances of 'My"

I've been reading C.S. Lewis of late and today's excerpt was the Nuances of Ownership. Screwtape is discussing the different meanings of the word "my". His examples? My boots is a lot different than my God. Hmm...so that got me thinking. If I was a person who did not really understand the English language would I get that there's a difference between the two. When one says my boots, it basically means I own them, I bought, got, was given, whatever a pair of boots and they're mine. But think about this...you cannot use the same definitions to describe my God. Same word - but so different in meaning. No one gave you God, you did not buy Him, or trade for Him, or get Him second-hand. Yet it's the same word. How is He yours? What makes it different from say your neighbour's God? He still uses the same word to describe Him. It's that sense of ownership that defines what we believe we possess.

But do we ever really possess it? Can we say we "own" our bodies? We are perhaps the caretakers of the house we call our own, but do we "own" it? Are our feelings ours? Why? Why do we say "you hurt my feelings". How is it yours?

When I say my job - it's the place I've chosen to go to work. So is the possessive my choices rather than ownership...can I apply the same rules to my God? It's my choice. I choose to believe in God therefore he's mine?

I love this book. It makes me think and write about it. It's good to think...

The Land Where the Blues Began

I am also reading a book by Alan Lomax about an summer he spent in the deep Delta researching where the blues began. What an amazing story. Railroad chain gangs singing African rythmic patterns to lay ties, blind preachers rasping out hellfire and damnation songs on street corners, moonshine plantation workers like Son House singing in the shanties while the white man worked them for profit picking cotton, roustabouts making good money on the paddlewheelers loading cotton and drinking. Wow...

And I'm only about 4 chapters in...

The Horror of the Same Old Thing

Have you ever felt like you couldn't spend another minute doing the same old thing? That every routine became a ball and chain around your ankles dragging you down and down? I'm reading CS Lewis selected readings right now and was impressed with the way he spoke about change. He believes that humans love change but they also love permanence. So it's like wishing for an amazing thing without the current thing changing. Lewis likens it to spring where it happens every year but it always feels like something new. Would we be content if it were to change all the time? Would we relish the craziness of a mutable world?

Food for thought...